You Belong With Me
by ClaireJean1239
Summary: Castiel is human and feels like he doesn't belong. Dean comforts him. [My first Supernatural fanfic ;)]
1. Chapter 1

**You Belong With Me**

"I can't take this anymore!"

Sam peered over his laptop screen as the lamp flew past his head and crashed against the

wall.

"Whoah! Calm down Castiel. What's wrong."

Castiel shook his head and clenched his hair, pulling on the ends in anger. He stared at his

reflection in the TV screen, tilting his head as he processed what he saw. A man. A short man

with dark hair. A short man with dark hair and light blue eyes. A short man with light blue

eyes in a tan trench coat. He blinked and a tear ran down his cheek. He was still a man in a

trench coat.

"This isn't me," he whispered, running his hands over his cheeks. "This isn't who I am. I

am not a man. This is not my body."

"Hey, Cas…" Sam stepped forward and attempted to console the distressed angel, but

Castiel stepped away and moved towards the door.

"I have to get out of here. I'm trapped," he whispered. "Trapped inside this body."

"Wait man, what brought this OK? Is it Jimmy? Does he want you to leave? Tell me. I'll

call Dean."

"_No_!"

Castiel screeched the word, running his nails across his cheeks. "Don't call Dean. I need to

leave. Don't tell Dean. Dean."

His eyes were unfocussed and they darted around the room, landing on the lamp, the two

double beds, the tv, the mini fridge, Dean's bag, Dean's shirt, Dean's socks. Dean. Except

Dean wasn't here. He had gone down to the chemist to buy cold and flu tablets for Sam, who

had been running a fever for days. His cheeks were flushed and his voice all nasally. Castiel

has volunteered to stay with the younger brother, and they had played snap and watched a

daytime soap. But Dean still hadn't returned an hour later, and Castiel's thoughts had

drifted to more private matters. Dean.

"I'm sorry. But I need to leave." His expressionless eyes stared into Sammy's and suddenly

he was out the door, storming down the street. Sam ran after him, shouting for him to come

back, but to no avail. Castiel broke into a run and even though Sam could have kept up with

him, even passed him, he knew Castiel needed to be alone. He closed the hotel room and sat

on the edge of his bed, flipping out his phone.

_Castiel has snapped. Get back here asap._

Sam heard the Impala pull up outside the motel ten minutes later, and the quick steps of his

older brother as he raced inside the room.

"What happened?"

Arms full of shopping bags, Dean had a half a donut in his mouth and a can of soft drink in

another. He dropped the bags on the ground and repeated the question more urgently.

Sam shrugged. "I have no freaking idea. One minute we were just sitting here talking. I was

about to put on a movie with my laptop, and he just exploded. Said 'this isn't me, this isn't

my body'. He was horrified."

Dean frowned and pulled out his phone, quickly dialling Castiel's number. After five rings it

went to message bank, and Dean listened to Castiel apologise for not picking up the phone.

"Cas, it's Dean. Pick up. What's wrong, dude?"

He collapsed on the bed and stared at the ceiling, frowning. "Did you say anything that

might upset him?"

"No."

"Did you mention anything in particular? Zeke or Naomi?"

"No."

"So you said nothing at all that might piss him off? No apolcalypse crap?"

Sam shook his head. "I said nothing, man, he just snapped. It was like he was thinking of

something and suddenly he just couldn't deal with whatever it was."

Dean groaned and dialled Castiel's number again, but still he received the message bank.

"Cas, pick up. Where are you? Do you want me to come and get you? I'm coming to get

you. Just tell me where you are. Call me, man."

Sam jumped from the chair and put the groceries away, glancing out the window every

couple of minutes. The street was empty, save for a few stragglers stumbling home from a

pub. It had gotten dark quite early, and he was worried Castiel would get lost. Without his

grace he had no way of zapping back to the room as easily as he once did, and he was sure he

didn't know how to read a map. He didn't even want to think about stranger danger.

"I'm going to look for him," Dean announced. "You stay here in case he comes back. He

can't have gone far."

"Dean…"

"Just let me find him, OK?"

Sam nodded and threw Dean his coat. His brother nodded in thanks and slipped out the

door, setting off into the dark. He sighed. He hoped for Dean's sake Castiel was ok.

Dean trudged through the layers of snow, shivering in his jacket. He didn't want to take the

Impala out, as it wasn't driving too well in the cold and the heater was playing up. He

rubbed his hands together and looked along the sidewalk, searching for any signs of his dark-

haired friend.

"Come on Cas, where the hell are you?"

He pulled out his phone and called the angel again, yet still Cas did not pick up. _You've _

_reached Cas. Please leave a message after the beep. I know how to do it, Dean! I said I can _

_do - _Beep.

"God damn it Cas!"

He texted Sam, telling him the name of the street he was on, just in case something

happened. They had started doing it as kids when their dad had left them in strange motels,

and it had just kind of stuck. Now they did it just out of habit.

"Where are you Cas?" Dean whispered, scouring the streets. "Come on, man, just tell me

where you are."

He ducked down an alleyway, patting the knife in his jacket as he peered into the

darkness. No Cas. He looked into shop windows, through car windows, and cursed as he

turned down another corner. How far could that idiot have gone? He rolled his eyes and

stopped at the end of the street, leaning against the pedestrian pole.

"Hello Dean."

"Holy shit Cas, where have you been?"

Dean spun around to face Castiel, who looked like a drowned rat. He was drenched from

head to toe, and his whole body was shaking from the cold. Dean wrapped his arms around

him quickly, warming him up with his embrace.

"Don't do that, man!" he exclaimed. "What's wrong?"

He ran his hand through Castiel's hair, scrunching it in his fists to dry it. "Cas?"

Castiel rested his head on Dean's shoulder and simply stared into the distance. Dean could

feel his heart thudding against his chest, and he tightened his hold on him.

"Tell me what's the matter."

"I can't do this anymore." Castiel whispered. He heaved a heavy sigh against Dean's neck

and blinked away tears. "Human life is so hard. I feel imprisoned within Jimmy. I need to be

free."

Dean ran his hand over Castiel's head, entwining his fingers between his friend's wet hair.

He slowly ran his fingers downwards, and gently stroked his neck.

"Do you want to go home?"

Castiel nodded. "I thought that I could do it, Dean. I thought that I could be one of you. But

I'm nothing without my powers. I'm not an angel anymore. I feel like…I can't tell you how I

feel. My body is not my own."

Dean smile. "That's because it belongs to Jimmy Novak."

"No Dean, Jimmy isn't there anymore. Remember? It's just me in this shell, in this husk.

Just me."

He laced his fingers around Dean's back and nuzzled his face into Dean's neck. "I'm so lost,

Dean. I don't even know what I'm doing here. You guys don't need my help. You were

fine without me. I've just made your lives worse. Especially yours, Dean."

"No way man, you're awesome." Dean rubbed Castiel's back slowly and sighed against his

friend. "You're one of us now, part of the team. We need you. I need you."

Castiel sighed and shook his head. "You don't need me anymore."

Dean pulled away and held Castiel out in front of him. "Now you listen to me, Cas. We

need you as much as you need us. Hell, maybe you need us more. Sammy needs you, and I

need you too. Oh god, I need you Cas. I don't know what I'd do without you." He smiled

dejectedly. "I'd be lonely."

Castiel rolled his eyes and looked away. "You'd have a wife and some kids and you'd

live in a nice house and wear nice clothes."

"Hey, are you saying my clothes aren't nice?"

Castiel stared at Dean and grinned. "You should wash them more often. You smell. But I

like your dirty smell. Sam is too clean."

Dean grinned and began to massage Castiel's shoulder. "See, if you weren't here you

couldn't make jokes about me? And I know you love to do that."

"It's one of my favourite things."

Dean smiled and straightened the collar on Castiel' trench coat. "Well one of my favourite

things is pie, and if you weren't here I'd probably be thinner because you always get me the

best pies."

Castiel cocked his head. "Wouldn't that be a good thing? I thought weight loss was one of

the main things humans were concerned with."

"Yeah," Dean nodded, "probably weight loss and sex."

Castiel blushed, and his adrenaline began to slow down. His body felt calmer, cooler, and he

leaned into Dean's arms.

"I just want to feel like I belong."

Dean smiled and kissed the top of Castiel's head. "But you do belong, Cas. You belong with

me."


	2. Chapter 2

Sam ducked under the dining room table and listened for the sounds of footsteps.

Dean told him to run if he wasn't back in ten minutes, but he knew he could handle

the ghost if he needed to. "Dean?" he whispered. "Dean, are you there?" He tapped

the floor in irritation and peered out from under the tablecloth. He could see no signs of

movement, no sudden shifting of shadows, yet he felt waves of chills run down his body.

His hand gripped the fire iron tightly as he prepared to ward off the ghost.

"I know you're here."

"Why can't you just leave me be? I wasn't hurting anyone. I just want to stay here with my

family."

"You need to leave."

It was Dean. Sam got up from out of the table and joined him at his side. He braced the fire

iron and stared at the young girl in front of him. She was young, around eleven or twelve,

and wore a long white dress and frilly white bonnet. Her eyes were a bright blue, almost as blue

as Cas'. Cas.

"Sammy? Where's Cas? He was supposed to meet me out the front."

Sam shrugged. "I don't know Dean, it's Cas. We need to focus on getting rid of the ghost."

He pulled out his iron stake from the back pocket of his jeans and stabbed the ghost in the chest.

Her form dissolved instantly, and Dean headed towards the front door.

"Dean? Where are you going? We need to vanquish her."

Dean nodded. "I'm just going to check out the front for Cas. You can do this, Sammy. She's connected

to the book. Just burn it and meet me out the front."

Sammy nodded nervously and Dean sprinted downstairs and out of the house. Tentatively, he

walked down the hallway, peeking into the rooms for signs of the ghost.

"Sarah, I'm just trying to help you," he murmured. "Please come out."

Suddenly, his body filled with an overwhelming coldness, and his breath turned into a white

mist of condensation. He spun around to face the young girl, who stared at him as though her

death was his own fault.

"I'm sorry, but you can't stay here anymore. You have to move on."

"Why can't you just leave me be? I wasn't hurting anyone. I just want to stay here with my

family."

Sam frowned and shook his head. "You need to leave. It's not your place."

Dean nodded and the young girl frowned. "Don't you want me here?"

"You need to move on."

The young girl nodded and suddenly her body was aglow with a bright light. She smiled and

took a step towards Dean, and her form vanished right before his eyes. Sam sighed in relief and

Dean dropped the iron rod. "I need a beer."

Castiel was in the motel room when they returned from the bar. He was staring at the wall, slowly

running his finger up and down, like brushstrokes on paint.

"How is the colour just suddenly there?" he asked, to no one in particular. "Why is it that colour in

particular?"

Dean rolled his eyes and threw a beer in Castiel's direction. He spun around quickly and caught

it with one hand and winked at Dean.

"Thank you."

Dean and Sam stared at the angel in bewilderment.

"How did you do that, man? You don't have your angel mojo."

Castiel tilted his head and smirked. "I'm not human."

Dean rolled his eyes and collapsed on his bed, kicking off his shoes. "Oh yeah, how could I forget?"

"The mind tends to forget things as one gets older, Dean," Castiel replied. "Maybe it's a symptom

of your ageing process?"

Sam smirked and excused himself to take a shower. Castiel sat on the end of Dean's bed and

slowly rubbed the blanket between his fingers. "How was your hunt? I apologise for not coming along.

I was…distracted. I would not have been much use to you."

Dean shrugged and took a sip of his beer. "Are you going to drink that or just stare at me with your

creepy angel eyes?"

Castiel grinned and cracked open the beer, taking a long sip, his eyes never leaving Deans face.

"This tastes bitter."

"But good, eh?" Dean replied, nodding in affirmation.

Castiel smiled. "Yes. It is good. Refreshing. Kind of like water."

"But better."

Castiel nodded and slowly drank his beer. Dean watched the rivets of liquid drip out of side of

his mouth and run down his chin, down his neck, stopping to rest in his collarbones. He leaned

forward and wiped the beer away with his thumb, wiping it on his jeans.

"It gets sticky."

Castiel nodded. "Like honey?"

Dean blushed, remembering the time Castiel appeared on the Impala, nude, and covered in bees.

"Just drink your drink."

Castiel tilted his head back and sculled the rest of the beer. Dean watched as more of it ran down

the sides of his mouth, but didn't move to wipe it away. He listened to the sounds of the shower

being turned on, and Sam humming as he bathed. He often did that, but denied it every time Dean

made a joke out of it.

"Finished."

Dean was impressed. Castiel had finished off his beer before he had. He laughed and watched his

friend place the empty can on the bedside table and move to sit beside him. Dean's fingers tightened

around the beer can as he felt Castiel's body heat beside him. He crossed his ankles and finished off

his beer, leaning over Cas as he threw his can into the rubbish bin.

"Score! Get it every time."

He moved to sit back, but Castiel gripped his wrist and held it firmly, staring into his eyes.

"Did you mean it when you said I belonged to you?"

His usually gravelly voice was soft, warm even, and Dean felt his stomach knot as Castiel fingers gently

stroked his wrist. He dry-swallowed and nodded slowly, not trusting his voice.

"Only if you want."

Castiel nodded, his impossibly blue eyes lighting up, as though sparked by electricity. With his free

hand he slid his hand under Dean's shirt and ran it up his chest, along his side, under his arm, and

snaking up to wear his handprint was blazoned into Dean's skin.

"Do you want me to get rid of this?" Castiel asked, his voice almost as low as a growl.

Dean shook his head. "I need it there." Castiel frowned and tilted his head. "Why? It's just a sign

my true form has touched you."

Dean nodded. "That's why I need it there."

He licked his lips, feeling his heart thud against his chest, as though struggling to break through his ribcage.

"It's there to remind you, Cas."

"Remind me of what?"

"That you belong to me."

Castiel's eyes lit up like fireworks, and Dean's stomach knotted as his friend ran his finger down his bare

chest. His skin felt alive where Castiel touched it, and he closed his eyes, leaning against the angel's body.

Sam cleared his throat as he came out of the bathroom, and Dean quickly pushed Castiel away, never

severing their eye contact.

"Up for a beer, Sammy?"

Sam nodded and grabbed one from the case, plonking himself on his bed. His hair was wet from the

shower, and a droplet of water ran down his face.

"Do you ever dry yourself properly?" Dean asked.

Sam snorted. "You can't even shave. You always miss a patch just under your chin."

Castiel sniggered on the end of Dean's bed. "There is always a bit of hair left over from after you shave.

It's like it's saying, 'help, please don't get rid of me, I'll be ever so nice!'"

Dean and Sam both erupted in laughter. "Oh my god Castiel, you made a joke," said Sam, rubbing a tear

from his face.

Castiel nodded. "I suppose television sitcom serves a purpose." He turned to Dean. "I was watching that

show the other day. What's it called? The one with Doctor Sexy?"

Dean furrowed his brows. "That's my Doctor Sexy! Get your own!"

"But you're not a doctor."

Sam burst into laughter as Dean's cheeks reddened the shade of a tomato. He shook his head and sighed.

"I thought we talked about this, Cas."

Castiel lowered his head and Sam continued to stare at them, shocked at the scene unfolding in front of

his eyes. "Are you saying…?"

"Just leave it, Sammy. Cas doesn't know what he's talking about. He's just a baby in a trench coat, remember?

Goo goo, gaa gaa, oh crap I shit myself."

Castiel frowned as Sam continued to laugh, doubling over and clutching his stomach. The angel stood up and

quickly left the room, and Sam bit down on his bottom lip.

"I think you insulted him."

Dean groaned and shook his head, quickly sculling his beer. "That guy is so…I don't even have a word."

Sam nodded. "Maybe you should see if he's ok."

"Yeah, ok."

Dean grabbed his coat and quickly left the room. He spotted Castiel walking towards the woods and he

set off after him, cursing his inactivity as he began to get out of breath.

"Cas? Cas! I'm sorry." He spotted the tan trench coat under a streetlight and walked towards the angel,

feeling guilty. He knew Cas was sensitive to some things, he often forgot he didn't understand sarcasm.

"Hey Cas, I'm sorry man. It just came out of my mouth."

"You often insult me in a joking manner" Castiel replied, "but that just didn't feel like a joke."

Dean plunged his fists in his pockets and dug the toe of his shoe into the gravel. "I didn't mean it. I went too far.

It wasn't even really an insult."

"Hmm." Castiel squinted as he determined whether Dean was lying or not. Even without his grace, he was

always able to tell. Dean smiled and gripped Castiel's shoulder.

"Let's go back. We can find you a show with your own Doctor Sexy."

Castiel shook his head and pulled away. "I might just take a walk. I need to think about things."

Dean frowned. "Like what?"

"Sarcasm."

Dean laughed and shook his head. "Cas, Cas, Cas. You really are one of a kind."

He ran a finger down the angel's face. Cas grabbed his hand and spread out his fingers, placing Dean's palm

on his cheek.

"Your skin is hot," Dean said. "Are you sick? Did Sam give you a cold?"

Castiel shook his head and stepped closer to Dean, wrapping his arms around his friend's waist and tucking

his head into Dean's shoulder.

"I need to think about _this_."


End file.
